Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Me & my shadow...

It's a sobering realization that my legacy lives with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

When I'm tempted to give in to laziness, self-centeredness, whining, discontent (the list could go on & on & on....), I'm confronted with a sweet, curly-headed shadow watching everything, hearing everything, copying EVERYTHING.

The other day, I was stopped at a red light waiting to make a right turn. Each car ahead of me had done the exact same thing: stopped, checked to see if it was clear, then turned on red. As we waited our turn, my daughter huffs from the backseat, "Just go already!"
Oh dear. Wonder where she'd learned that??

My battle with disordered eating is my biggest source of worry when it comes to my Little Shadow.
*Will she see & copy this faulty thinking and destructive behavior?
*Will she think this obsession with weight & body is normal?
*Will she develop an eating disorder because she grew up with me?

When I look at her, I see perfection in the Father's creation. She is exactly what she should be. Her body does what it needs to do. She eats the way she was made to eat. Her Father made her perfectly. And yet, I know that if she hears the voice of the enemy louder than the one of her perfect Father's, she will grow unsatisfied or even come to hate what her Creator made. 

Scripture likens children to arrows (Psalm 127): they will go on further than ourselves. They are a piece of ourselves shot into the future. Hopefully, if I'm living well and honoring the Gospel, my little arrow will be stronger, sharper and sail further towards her target than I hoped.

Thankfully, how my Little Arrow turns out is not a matter of chance. She is fashioned by a loving Creator and He will equip her daddy & me to sharpen her as she grows. So instead, I should be asking myself:

*Will I let the Word of God address my faulty thinking & change my destructive behavior?
*Will I relinquish control and allow God to be God in my own body?
*Will I confront wrong thinking/behavior/speech in my own life and in my daughter's?
*Will I be vigilant in prayer to war against the stronghold of bulimia and disordered eating?

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