"Recovery is about feelings, not food..." (http://eatingdisordersanonymous.org/recovery.html)
Today was tough.
I'm finding (like probably most people) that the busier I am and certainly to more tired I am, the harder it is to objectively assess how I am feeling and what I need.
I spent nearly all day today in the car: errands, grocery shopping, dental appointment, play date.... I find myself turning to evil fast food for quick, easy dinner. Here's the thing though:
I don't like fast food.
Yes, it's fast. Yes, it's easy. Something about it is "comforting". I'm sure it's some kind of chemical thing. I am convinced they manufacture it so that it makes you want to eat it. Maybe higher amounts of fat and sugar trick your brain into feeling calm and craving more.
When I'm thinking clearly and looking at the food objectively: I don't like it. It's not tasty. It's not filling or life-giving. I like how I feel after I've had grilled chicken, spinach, salmon, apples.... Why do I choose the junk?
Not only does the quality of the food decrease, but the amount I eat
increases. It's like my eyes close and I forget to look. I forget to
listen to my body's signals.
It's like stress or exhaustion settles in and I feel myself go on auto-pilot. I become a mindless robot.
But that's life. Suck it up. This is recovery. Eating Mc Donald's for dinner doesn't solve one blessed thing!
Staying aware really IS the battle. The question, though, is how?